do's
* Add big spoilers!
* Fit big body kits
* large exhausts
* use the "inching" strategy at traffic lights... always gets a traffic light grand prix nicely under way!
* De-badge that car, especially if its a Skoda...
* Make sure you have a tasty bit of the opposite sex next to you at all times... if possible have them on your lap...
* Use white dials
* use excessive revs in low gears wherever possible!

don'ts
* Add whale tails.. its been done to death.. STOP IT!
* fit that Escort Warrior body kit... never ever...
* Have less spokes on your wheels than the car has doors...
* Leave a tissue box lying on your rear shelf.. instant street cred death
* Never ever use those beady seat covers that are supposed to massage your back unless you are a taxis driver!
* Fit an exhaust that has an exit diameter bigger than that of a bean can!
* fit "my others cars a " DON'T ITS PANTS RIP IT OFF NOW!
* attempt a burn out in a car that has less than 100bhp... no its sad,,, I know you can get s chirp noise out of it.. but it doesn't do it.. those people looking at you smiling are actually laughing at you... DON'T DO IT!
* Fit stickers that display your initials ANYWHERE on your car...
 

Think your do's and don'ts are funnier?... mail us them then! and we'll bung them in here! 

my_thing_is_funnier_than_your_thing_is_so_there@mental-motors.co.uk